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01 April 2007 @ 05:26 pm
Bad Ass Viktor Krum List  

Viktor Krum doesn't sleep, he waits.

The force and volume of the typical Viktor Krum ejaculation has been observed to pierce the female uterus, kevlar body armor and Brawny paper towels.


Starting in May of 2006, there will be four sizes of popcorn at AMC movie theaters: "Small", "Medium", "Large", and "Viktor Krum' Balls".

lorida used to be in a straight line, until Viktor Krum kicked Miami for refusing to make a "Viktor Krum Day".


Viktor Krum doesn’t have to brush his teeth; they know better than to get dirty. 

Common relief for a hang over is to have another drink.  Too bad the same logic can't be applied to a roundhouse kick from Viktor Krum.  That would be certain death.

 

Viktor Krum prefers crushed ice to cubed.  He feels the same way about velvet and human skulls.

 

Viktor Krum had 98 kills in Vietnam and he wasn't even there.

 

Viktor Krum never lost his virginity because he was born without one.

 

Smart parents will teach their kids that 2 plus 2 equals “what ever the hell Viktor Krum says it equals.”

 

Viktor Krum breathes pain instead of oxygen.

 

Viktor Krum never hides, he only seeks.

 

Viktor Krum' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Viktor Krum.

 

Viktor Krum can slam revolving doors.

 

Viktor Krum does not hunt; Viktor Krum goes killing.

 

Viktor Krum' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Viktor Krum will not take shit from anyone.

 

Giraffes were created when Viktor Krum uppercutted a horse.


Viktor Krum is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Viktor Krum.

 Viktor Krum is so bad, he takes a baseball bat into the bathroom with him in case he craps out a wildcat and has to beat it to death.

If anyone has any others to add - feel free!

Voldemort Next!

 
 
Current Location: The 402
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: Law and Order: Special Victims Unit
 
 
 
macheteprincess on April 2nd, 2007 04:01 am (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



HAHAHAHA




ha.
The Kate-astrophe: Vampire Jimcharley_luv on April 2nd, 2007 04:17 am (UTC)
Oh finally.

Linsey says no one finds these the least bit funny.

I find them so hilarious I could throw up from laughing so hard.

[and yes, i have watched the old school degrassi episodes - when i was in middle school. i was in love with them. i love that joey is on the new episodes. i meant to reply when i saw you commented, but the internet in my house went out so i just gave up on the computer for the night. i do apologize!]
macheteprincess on April 2nd, 2007 11:34 pm (UTC)
Hahaha, they're like Chuck Norris jokes, they never get old.

Old Degrassi is love <3